Navigating the Chaos of Unsought Singleness

When I turned 30 and was still single, I got seriously nervous. I was secretly scared and overwhelmingly clueless about how to actually do a spouse-less life. How was I to navigate everything from finances to sexual desire, from big social events to questions of vocation, from the “love life” comments of well-intended others to my own sense of (in)security?

So, I began begging God: “Love me! Lead me!”

Since then, I’ve come to see that for any of us—male or female—God loves to answer this prayer. He does love. He does lead.

We live in a crazy, rapidly shifting culture. Maps from previous generations don’t always match the terrain in which many of us find ourselves, particularly in the world of singleness and sexuality. But the reality is that the chaos doesn’t daunt our heavenly Father.

Remember Sarah’s servant Hagar? Remember when she was in the wilderness, pregnant with Abraham’s baby but having run away because Sarah had grown harsh in her treatment? Talk about being lost in chaos!

Yet, God shows up. He meets Hagar in the wilderness. He doesn’t give her easy answers, but by the end of their conversation, she is able to declare, “I have now seen the One who sees me” (Genesis16:13). Courage floods in with His loving presence, and she can take the next step that He asks.

This week? My advice is that you…
Risk seeking the One who sees you.
Risk telling Him the truth.
Risk listening for His voice to lovingly lead you.
Risk following.
And then, risk telling someone else your story!

Connally Gilliam

Author, speaker, and longtime mentor, Connally has been on staff with The Navigators for 15 years in Washington, DC. Her sweetest joys include hanging out with her nephews and nieces (who are inconveniently located in Beirut and Dublin!). Her more local joys include lattes, hiking, processing life and faith with friends, and picking up the paintbrush.

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